I have been sitting on this blog post literally since I started blogging 6 weeks ago. I feel I have to/want to write a post about insomnia and my sleep journey however it’s a very very difficult topic to write about without me getting sucked into what has by far and away been the worse thing I’ve ever had the displeasure of experiencing. However, I’m hoping that if I do write this post that other sufferers will know that they’re not alone in this scary, insanity inducing sleepless world, and you never know I might be able to suggest something that you haven’t tried before.
My insomnia journey started in January 2005. We had just taken a long haul flight home from a holiday and I remember like it was yesterday turning to Mr P (my then boyfriend) and saying that I just couldn’t shake off the jet lag and I wondered why it was taking so long… I never did shake it off, but it wasn’t jet lag.
For about the first 6 months I just lived with it. I could always get to sleep however I would wake up in the middle of the night and then no matter what I couldn’t get back to sleep. Looking back at my sleep diaries I think I was probably getting about 5 hours sleep at this time which although left me tired, very tired, was copeable (is that even a word?) and life did continue as normal.
By the end of 2005 however I was starting to struggle. I went to the GP who wasn’t very supportive and prescribed sleeping pills however I didn’t want to go down that route as I wanted to solve my insomnia and not just plaster over it. I read up on the internet and ticked off every sleep hygiene box:
- Exercise regularly but not just before bed
- Avoid napping during the day (no matter how tired)
- Avoid alcohol as much as possible (struggle with this one!)
- Avoid caffeine 4-6 hours before bed (I don’t actually drink tea or coffee so this wasn’t a problem)
- Block out all noise
- Don’t go to bed hungry or on a full stomach
etc etc etc
I also at this time started doing acupuncture. I had read up on insomnia and a lot of people had solved their sleeplessness with acupuncture so I went in with high hopes. I saw a lovely man every week for a month or two but it just didn’t make a difference. I think I would have continued for longer at this point but we were getting married in the April and my mother-in-law had been diagnosed with terminal cancer so I just didn’t feel I was in the right head space to be spending that much money on something that wasn’t working immediately.
I remember going on my Hen weekend in March 2006 with my friends and breaking down on them because I was just so tired. This was the first time that I’d told anyone outside my family. I hadn’t consciously kept it a secret but I didn’t want to be seen as a moaner saying how tired i was the whole time. They felt the most important thing was that I wasn’t tired for my wedding so I went back to my GP who prescribed me 2 weeks of sleeping pills for the run up to my wedding. I slept and it was amazing but I always knew it was a temporary stop gap.
The next few years are a bit of a blur as to when I did what but basically my sleep deteriorated further without a nights break. I had my eldest in September 2007 and life was hard. Having a newborn is hard enough without having to exist on 3 hours sleep a night and without napping during the day. By this time we were trying more and more things to help me with my quest of saving my sanity:
- Hypnotherapy
- Acupuncture
- Chinese medicine
- Cranial osteopathy
- Magnesium tablets
- Melatonin tablets
- Increased exercise
- Nytol/herbal nytol
- New mattress (my old one was a Tempur mattress which made me very hot and staying cool is a big yes for sleep)
- Switch off all technology a few hours before bed
- Try to go to sleep and get up at the same time everyday
- Keeping a paper and pen next to my bed to write down my thoughts
- Keep a sleep, food and activity diary to see if I could find any pattern
- Changed my diet
I was becoming increasingly infuriated with my GP’s as well as I felt I had more knowledge than them and I was getting no help or referrals no matter how much I begged.
It also was continuing to get worse. By October 2008 I was down to 45 minutes – 1 1/2 every night, every single night, week in, week out. I then referred myself to the London Sleep Clinic on Harley Street. It was here that I was taught about the insomnia technique of Sleep Restriction. Basically I was only allowed to stay in bed for 5 hours a night. I would go to bed at midnight and when I woke up if I couldn’t go back to sleep within a guestimated (as I wasn’t allowed a clock in the bedroom) 15 minutes I had to get up and do something relaxing (this is when I started sewing and crafting). When I felt sleepy tired I could go back to bed however 15 guestimated minutes later up I got again until I felt sleepy tired and this continued until 5am when I wasn’t allowed back to bed and my day began. As I never went back to sleep basically from 1am – 5am I was up and down like a yoyo which was beyond exhausting and such a very very lonely experience.
We found out I was pregnant with our daughter about 3 weeks into my sleep restriction training. I had such hope and the doctor at the London Sleep Clinic had said that I should start seeing changes within a few weeks that I continued thinking that life would be improving very soon. But it didn’t. It just got worse. Coping with insomnia is hard enough as it is however coping with insomnia and doing sleep training and being pregnant and having a toddler was beyond difficult. I kept going and kept hoping until the April (I did sleep restriction for 15 weeks straight) when Mr P and my mother stepped in and said enough was enough. I was sending myself insane with tiredness and it wasn’t fair on anyone. We decided that while I was pregnant I was to get as much sleep and rest as possible even if it meant going against the rules. I still didn’t nap during the day (as if I did I wouldn’t then get a minutes sleep at night) but I rested a lot and at night I would stay in bed reading rather than getting up.
I had also by this point found a GP who understood me and knew I wasn’t exaggerating and did her hardest to help find solutions. My family and I saw her a few times to work out what we could do when our baby was born. She researched sleeping pills that I could take while breast feeding so when my daughter was born we employed a Night Nanny who would work 4 nights a week and between her and my husband they would do all the night feeds while I slept in the spare room and took 14 nights worth of sleeping pills. The first week it enabled me to get about 6 hours sleep a night and I was feeling a bit more sane and again I had hope that this is what my body needed to remember what it was like to sleep. However by the 2nd week my body had got used to the sleeping pills and by night 14 it was only allowing me about 3 hours sleep. I just couldn’t believe it. I was on a seriously high dose of sleeping pills and even they didn’t work. I then stumbled along with the help of family and a few pretty phenomenal friends and just about kept my head above water. However, life with 2 children and getting no more than 90 minutes sleep every night just couldn’t continue.
My GP was continuing to be on my side and found a Psychiatrist at The Maudsley Hospital who focussed on sleep problems. I was referred there and due to having such a young baby I was bumped to the top of the queue and therefore started seeing her in January 2010. She agreed that the only way I was going to beat my sleep was to try sleep restriction again however this time she was going to arm me with some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy tricks to hopefully allow me to cope better. I also realised that I had to do something with my mornings from 5am as staying on my own when the rest of the house was asleep wasn’t going to be good for me mentally so I signed up to do a Triathlon in June 2010. So at 5am every morning I would either go for a run, cycle or go the gym and have a swim. it was bonkers but it kept me going. The mornings when I didn’t go made the day so much harder. Somehow having this focus gave me a positive reason for being awake. Again sleep restriction didn’t work and after about 6 months I stopped. I just couldn’t cope. I was becoming a bad mother who was too tired to do anything and that was making me so sad and depressed that it just wasn’t worth it.
So since January 2011 I’ve been taking anti-depressants. My GP had done some research and found some that have a side effect of helping sleep. They work. I’m probably now averaging about 3-4 hours sleep a night and I’m coping. I started on the lowest dose and after about 10 months they stopped working so my GP increased the dosage and they started working again. I’m in a stage at the moment where I can tell that the dosage is wearing off and my body is getting too used to it as my sleep is deteriorating. I’m wary about upping the dose again as the next dose is the highest dose and then what happens when they stop working – that just doesn’t bare thinking about. My daughter is now 3 and so my big game plan is to get her to school and once she’s there I will start sleep restriction again as I will have more time in the day to cope without the kids.
There are two people who have, without fail, been my rocks – Mr P and my mother. Their lives have had to change dramatically in order to help me and support me through the last nearly 8 years of hell. My mother has cancelled plans at the drop of a hat to come and help me with my days and Mr P has basically had to hold the family together and stop it all breaking down. He’s had to cope with his stressful job by day and his stressed wife by night. He is beyond amazing and there are literally no words to describe how grateful I am and how much I love him.
Whoever invented sleep deprivation as a form of torture was spot on. Suffering from insomnia isn’t about being tired constantly because although I am that somehow isn’t the hard bit. It is how it affects my mental health that makes it so hard – it basically sends you insane. There is no other way to describe it.
And… breath. Phew, I’ve written it and I’m still here and not crying 
It’s been a long old road and I know there’s a long long way to go however I do believe I will become a better sleeper some day and I believe the only way to solve it is with sleep restriction technique however I have to be mentally strong to start that again especially if it may well take up to or over a year to make a difference.
I’m going to have a quick read through now and then just press ‘publish’ otherwise I might chicken out.
If you are reading this and nodding your head as you’re going through the same thing or know someone who is, please get in touch – either in the comment box or via email. Ask any questions and I’ll try and answer. Also if anyone has any other advice please please fire away. You never know, there might be something out there that I haven’t tried and that might be my solution!
Here are a few websites that have helped me with my insomnia journey:
London Sleep Centre
Talk About Sleep
Insomnia Lane
Thank you so much for reading
I can’t believe you’ve been through all this. Having four kids, I know what sleep deprivation did to me and that was without suffering from insomnia so I can only imagine how dreadful this must be for you and your family.
I’m really glad you shared this and hope you feel better for doing so – you never know who you may connect with who could have some answers for you. I really hope you find some solutions soon xx
Thanks so much my love. I’m actually shaking now that I’ve pressed publish. So personal!! I’m glad I’ve done it though. That’s what I’m hoping is that someone may be able to share their story and give me hope or even some more things to try. Can’t wait to meet you on Wednesday xxx
Well done for writing this, you’re very brave.
I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult it is for you to cope with insomnia. As a person who needs sleep to cope, I don’t know how you do it! You’ve done a brilliant job of coping and raising your kids too.
I really hope in the future they can cure your insomnia and you can begin to sleep again x
Thank you so much, I really appreciate your comments x
And yet, despite all this awful, insanity-inducing insomnia, you are such an incredibly generous, kind and strong person, and such a supportive, loyal and loving friend, that you have not only allowed, but have *encouraged* me to cry on your shoulder about my broken nights of sleep caused by nothing more than my 3 children. Which is why you are such the superstar that you are, and are loved so much by me and all those around you. Well done on a brilliant, courageous post. Xxxx
Oh thank you my love, you’ve made me cry now
Thank you for all your support over the years – I couldn’t have coped without you. Love you enormously xxx
A really compelling. brilliantly written blog. I can’t believe what you’ve been through and I hope publishing the blog opens up some new solutions. Well done for holding it all together and for still being such good company!
Thank you so much, that means a lot x
Thank you for writng this Sally. Even if you didn’t cry writing it I cried reading it. I too have suffered from insomnia and know how awful it is. I am ‘fortunate’ that mine comes and goes but when it’s here it is awful and coping with being a working mum is all too much to bear. I hope you find something that works for you very soon. You may not know it but you are coping and extremely well Xx
Thank you so so much, it means a lot. I hope your insomnia stays away x
Sally, we barely touched on this on Friday, but I hadn’t realised it had reached this epic level. Let me know if we can do anything; even just feeding the kids if you want a break. X
Thanks Alex, you’re lovely x
Beautifully and eloquently written Sally
And very brave
Well done
xxx
Thank you so much x
I can’t imagine the hell that you’ve gone through for the last 8 years. I remember the nights with a newborn and only 90 minutes sleep and those were bad enough – but they only lasted a few weeks. I’m in awe of your strength at surviving that experience for so much longer. I’m awful without sleep and, due to work, I only get around 5 hours sleep a night. It makes me irritable, stressed, unable to keep things in perspective. But I know it’s not forever and I know I won’t be able to keep up with that lack of sleep. I will never moan about it again though – not now I know what others go through. Blimey, you’re one strong lady. xxx
Thank you so much for your kind words. Please please don’t think you can’t moan about being tired because we are all different and in our own way we are all tired and we all need to be heard. I hope you can start getting more sleep soon x
I am in tears. So touching.
I literally can’t function without sleep, I think you might take over the world if you got a full a night’s sleep!!! I pray it will suddenly happen for you…
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Ha ha, I like that, I’d love to take over the world
I saw your post on the East Dulwich Forum and cannot believe that after what you’ve been through you are able to write so well and lucidly! Thanks for posting this. I hope you’ll allow me to offer a couple of thoughts, just in case they are in any way of any use.
I’ve suffered insomnia at a couple of points in my life (though certainly not for a period akin to yours). The first time was when I was suffering from extreme anxiety, and panic-attacking ridiculously regularly. The second was when I had post-natal depression. I think it doesn’t always help to think of things directionally; it’s all iterative; but I can say that when the anxiety was tackled (through CBT specifically for this) and when the postnatal depression was alleviated (through time, basically), the insomnia improved dramatically. That makes me wonder: might it be worth tackling anxiety and depression IN AND OF THEMSELVES and seeing whether this has some effect on the whole system of your being? Not necessarily making any assumptions about what came first, but just intervening from that angle? My CBT explicitly for anxiety was excellent, and armed me with strategies which I still apply, years later, and which I applied when I was PN depressed and on a long waiting list for help!
Thanks again for your honesty and the insight into your life here.
P.S. I’m really sorry; I’m going to put a fake email address and name to allow me to post this. I’m not as brave as you in going public.
Thank you so so much for commenting (please pm me on EDF if you want). Yes I totally get where you are coming from and my lovely psych at the Maudsley is treating me with CBT for everything however it seems that my insomnia has led to me being depressed rather than the other way round and we can find any starting factor …. yet.
I really really appreciate you taking the time out to write – thank you.
Best of luck with it all; I really mean it – it’s a massive testament to you that you can raise your children, write so well, and create such lovely things with this going on; truely amazing.
Thank you, I just love that I now have something to do at night because as you will know being awake and doing nothing really does send you insane
Pebbles, I’m so glad you posted this as I know it must be something that affects everything in your life. This really moved me. You are so strong and I know you must have some dark moments, but you still manage to be an amazing mum, wife and friend (I gather this from some of the other comments). I really, truly hope this gets resolved for you. x
Thank you so much LL, I really appreciate that. It was lovely meeting you yesterday at blogfest and I look forward to getting together again soon x
My lovely girl this is one of the moving, thought provoking, brave blogs I have read, made even more real in knowing you and having been through the birth of our children together. It also fills me with huge regret that I didn’t know the extent of your insomnia or even that you had it at all until far too long into our friendship, as you were always so mindful of not discussing it with your ‘newborn’ buddies whilst we were all complaining of being so tired ourselves. I wish I had known more. I couldn’t put it more eloquently than Lou: you truly are a wonderful person and a fantastic friend and so smiley and magnetic to be around, so eager to listen to and help others. Thank you for writing this and thank you for being the friend that you are x x x
Oh PP, thank you, you’re making me cry. I love you very much too xxx
I can’t believe it’s that bad, how awful for you. I suffered a bit when I was pg but not nearly as bad as this. I’m glad your GP has taken you seriously. It does sound like torture but you have found great ways to cope with it. And yay for Mr and Mummy P
Thanks so much dillytante. Lovely meeting you yesterday and being able to put a face to the name
What a heartfelt and honest blog about insomnia……I have suffered bouts of this now and again (the fear being I never know when it’s going to strike next) and I know how delibitating this can be on those periods. However I say periods as this is all I have suffered so I literally take my hat off to you having endured eight years. The words ‘that sucks’ is a complete understatement I just hope that something comes your way to change this pattern and I am no medical expert so I have nothing worthwhile to suggest other than what you know already – regular sleep times/ exercise/ no alcohol/ caffiene blah bah blah and obviously this does not work in all cases. I really hope something comes your way but on the upside your work is hugely positive and lovely and that is something to be proud of so well done you. Oh an did I mention the small feat of raising two beautiful children, running a household and being a loving wife?!!! hats off lady I raise one child, keep a good house and work inbetween….and still feel I have my work cut out! hang head in shame me thinks! you will get there and know you have a wonderful family and circle of friends they may not make up for lack of sleep but they will fill in the gaps…well done you xx
Thank you so much Alex, I hope your insomnia stays away for as long as possible. Thanks for your kind words xxx
Hi Sally, firstly sorry to hear of your long standing ordeal with insomnia. It’s a hard and horrible beast to break. I’ve had insomnia on and off for the past 20 years and it does leave you feeling like you are hallucinating after a while. You are a trooper for doing what you do and still being so lucid.
Secondly, congratulations for the bravery it took to share it and thank you. Fate being fate, I have just been reading another post on a blog which made me think of you and so I thought to share it in case there is anything helpful to you in it
http://www.thesilverpen.com/page/11/
Keep well and I really hope you find something soon to make your nights more sweet and blissful xx
Thank you so much for sharing the link – i’ll go and look now.
I hope you cope as well as possible and that you have support.
I’m so sorry that you too suffer from this horrendous illness
You’re lovely
xxx
And you keep smiling. That’s what amazes me the most. Despite all of this, you are a generous, kind and thoughtful person. Truly awesome.
Thank you my love x
Oh my goodness, I can’t believe you’ve been through all that. It sounds truly hideous. I’ve heard of insomnia, but had no idea it was as bad as that. Huge respect to you, your husband, your mum and your kids for supporting you. I do hope there’s some light at the end of the tunnel for you. X
Thank you so much for your such kind words x
Having struggled with insomnia for much of my adult life, I know only too well how it leaves you feeling wrung out and zombified. My changes in form. At times, I simply cannot get to sleep at all, and I lie awake all night reading (which I’ve been told is the very worse thing to do). Other times, I fall asleep as soon as my head touches the pillow only to wake around 20 minutes later…and that’s the nightly pattern. I was so exhausted that I started to feel as though I were sleepwalking through life. I used to absolutely dread the very thought of going to bed, knowing what was ahead. Fortunately, I didn’t have a young family to cope with as well, though my tossing and turning was pretty hard on my poor husband…I solved that one by moving into the spare room so that he at least could get a decent night’s sleep before getting up for his day job, though my restless wandering around our small flat probably disturbed him, but the sweetheart that he is, he never once complained. I was a full time academic and it didn’t help that sometimes, I’d have to up up late into the night writing lectures or preparing for classes or marking essays – in fact, a great deal of my work got done in the small hours of the night! Funnily enough, I always found that I wanted to sleep around 6.00a.n., just when I should have been getting up. And then my lifelong depression returned, as well as anxiety attacks, which killed off any chance of sleep, as I became convinced that I would die if I went to sleep. Life got marginally better when I started a course of relaxants, but then BOOM! I went into early menopause, and the night sweats made life so worse, if that was possible. Thankfully, I’m now over it – though I never sleep throughout the night and some nights I still wake every hour, but I generally manage to get around 5 hours sleep which feels to me almost normal! So thank you for sharing your story. While I’m not glad to hear of anyone else going through the nightmare that is insomnia, it does help to know that you’re not alone, that others understand just how debilitating insomnia is for sufferers. Great blog!.
Wow, thank you so much for sharing. It really does help knowing that someone out there is suffering as badly as I am – if that makes sense! I too would think that 5 hours could be normal. I could live on that I really could. You say you’re over it now – can you remember whether it was any one thing that allowed sleep to improve a little or did you basically just “grow out of it”. Ive had the most phenomenal offer from an absolute stranger who lives by me of free reflexology for basically as long as I want. She thinks it could help and has offered it for free as she feels so sad for me. Can’t quite believe it – how amazing. So who knows, I haven’t tried it before so it may be my solution. thank you so so so much for responding, it means a lot. I pray sleep sticks at 5hrs and who knows it might improve as well. Take care x
Hi Pressiebypebbles, one of the things that always gives me hope for humanity is the way in which so many people are always open to offering their support and understanding and even real practical help to totally unknown others in need, as is evident from the supportive comments and offer of free reflexology you’ve received. I do hope reflexology works for you! My sister-in-law is a practitioner and she swears by it (well, she would, wouldn’t she?!). Unfortunately, my road to being cured involved me having to give up my job under very distressing circumstances. Its clear to me that the insomnia was due to the extreme work-related stress that I was experiencing. I’d be lying awake at night making mental list after list after list of tasks I had to do…mark so many essays, set this exam paper, read so many committee reports, dissertations or theses, approve so many applications, organise this, organise that, write this lecture, attend this function or meeting or seminar or event…it just never stopped…and then I’d have to give up on any hope of sleep and get up and turn on the computer to answer some emails, the responses to which I had been formulating in my mind as I laid there wide awake, or plan a seminar, do this, do that! I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist in my working life, as well as being a coward, so I could never say NO when my Head of Department asked me to take on more and more work…eventually, I had a complete breakdown…came home from work one Friday evening, woke up after a dreadful nigh of not sleeping to find that my limbs couldn’t or wouldn’t move, and didn’t get out of bed again for nearly two years, during which time I was offered the choice of redundancy or face capability proceedings…I took the redundancy. It was only during that 18 months that I learned to sleep again, though I did have setbacks – menopausal night sweats! – but looking back, it is clear that work was the cause of the problem. I’m no longer in employment, struggling to deal with hypertension and diabetes both of which were diagnosed during that dreadful period…but during the 18 months, with the help of my GP and therapy, I found some kind of peace, which enabled me to learn to sleep again. So, yes, as someone who has always loved their sleep (I’ve been described as a beddist and a bedhead in the past) 5 hours seems a luxury to me, though do have some nights still when 3 hours is the best I can do…but as you say 5 hours now seems normal, and I can live with five hours. I really, really hope reflexology helps…but even if it doesn’t take heart from the many people out there who whether they are or have experienced insomnia in the past, understand what your’re going through and are cheering you on. It is amazing to me that despite everything, you appear to be an amazing mother, wife, daughter and friend and your blog is giving hope to so many others.
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I hope you can find the relief you seek and get the sleep you need! I’ve struggled with insomnia for a good part of the year this year, the first round beginning after I had cut out a food I found out I was allergic to, flaxseed, as well as other things my doctor asked me to cut because we weren’t sure what I was reacting to at the time. I believe those drastic changes affected my sleep. As the insomnia went on, the more anxious I got, and I ended up going on sleeping pills for three weeks. I was on Ambien and Restoril. I especially got good rest on the Restoril, but I went off it so I wouldn’t become dependent. I had to go through insomnia after stopping the pills as well. What finally ended up really helping me this round was moving electronic devices in the bedroom away from the bed or just unplugging them. Another round started after I removed another food to which I was intolerant, gluten. I think my body just had to adjust to the absence of the gluten, but I made things worse by trying to adjust the dosage of my thyroid medication and other supplements. I thought my medication was making me hyperthyroid, but I realized later it may have been from an autoimmune attack because my worst hyperthyroid episode occurred shortly after eating foods containing gluten. Once I went back on my regular medication and supplements, my sleep began to get better. I wonder if many of my sleeping problems that weren’t caused by outside issues like work and other things were due to my thyroid issues. I believe I have Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis caused by a gluten intolerance. Thyroid issues affect so many parts of the body, and I know they have impact on sleep. It may be an avenue worth exploring if you haven’t already, having your thyroid tested and having the complete complement of tests done (T3, T4, and antibody tests, not just TSH). Some doctors think a patient who has Hashimoto’s or hypothyroidism should also be tested for gluten intolerance and celiac disease since these are closely linked to autoimmune thyroid disorders. This may have nothing to do with your issues but thought I would offer up these ideas just in case. Good luck!
I’m afraid I’m a bit late commenting on this, but just wanted to say that I really hope that you find a solution soon. I can’t imagine how hard it must be, we’ve struggled with children sleep issues for a number of years but it doesn’t even come close to what you are going through. Well done for writing the post and I’m sure that you will be offering comfort and support to other people in the same situation.
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I can only imagine what you have been through as I mostly sleep well. Having three under 4 years has at times left me sleep deprived. And currently two have chicken pox! My husband and I created an app recently out of our need to track our youngest sleeping patterns. It sounds like you manually keep a sleep diary. Please have a look at our app called Snoozebaby. It might be useful. http://www.snoozebaby.net
Wow, what an amazing app. I have kept a sleep diary for the last 8 years but they’re all very boringly kept in a ring folder so will definitely be using your app from now. Thanks so much for commenting xx
Wow. You sure have been through a lot, and it seems like you have tried EVERYTHING. Though, I have absolutely no idea what it is like to be through, what you have been, I feel for you. I hope you find that miracle answer to this problem (the word problem does not seem to capture the magnitude of what you describe, but I just cannot think of a better word) Here’s to a full nights sleep **drinks cup of coffee**
Thanks so much for popping over and commenting. I do hold hope I really do so fingers crossed
Wow. Just wow. I cannot imagine the torture of such a thing. You are an incredibly strong woman for enduring all of this. I hope that in time, you can find a permanent cure for something so debilitating.
Thank you for your wow’s
Julie stole my wows, but seriously I can’t even imagine. I had a bout with insomnia when I was younger, but couldn’t even imagine going through this now with my two kids. God bless you and thank you seriously for sharing your experience with this here.
Thank you so much for reading x
I’m glad you were finally able to write this post…wow, what a journey and tough experience. I’ve had a nights of insomnia here and there (usually due to stress, but sometimes no reason) but I can’t imagine it as a mom to young kids. It’s great you are writing about it and hopefully you will make some meaningful connections with others also plagued by insomnia.
Thank you so much for your comment. Fingers crossed x
Holy cow, you poor thing, I can’t imagine what its like for you, but you seem to be coping well, not sure I would have. Your hubs and mother sound like a great support, I hope you all find something soon to help you get back into a regular, healthy sleep pattern.
Thanks so much x
Insomnia is like living in Hell – no other word for it. Like you, I went on a flight to Australia about 4 years ago and just couldn’t get over the jet lag. I experienced 6 months of Insomnia, it was like torture. I felt depressed, lonely and in despair. I ended up sending myself loopy and in the end, I think it was the anxiety which stopped me from sleeping. Eventually, it lifted and I haven’t experienced it since. Thank goodness. It has stopped me from ever considering travelling to Australia again as it really was the worst time in my life. I cannot imagine what 8 years of it must be doing to you. One very brave lady, my heart goes out to you. Thanks for linking up, I will share the post.
I too have a fear of travelling because of insomnia. Mine started shortly after my doctor discovered a high eosinophil count and wanted me to stop everything I’d started in the last year to pinpoint what was causing the reaction. A few days later, I started having problems staying asleep, and I went to Las Vegas (three hours behind my home time zone) for a work trip. It was horrible. We stayed up really late that first night, and I never got caught up on rest. I couldn’t get more than six hours a night, and I had to drag myself to presentations each day. By the time they were all over, I didn’t feel like going out and went straight to my room. I never even left the hotel/convention complex after that first night. There was a restaurant in the complex where a group of us met for dinner one night, and I was miserable there too. I didn’t stay for dessert; I was just too tired. I was so happy to get home, and other than a family vacation a couple of weeks after that, I haven’t been anywhere. I stayed over at my parents’ one night so I could use their internet access to do upgrade testing for work during the night. I’ve slept at home every other night. I have more work travel coming up next year as well as another family trip, and I have to admit I’m terrified. My insomnia is a lot better now. I had to solve some hormone/thyroid issues, and that’s helped. However, I don’t know how I’ll be away from home.
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